I want to love you

To love someone is to be a safe haven that the other can sail into, and to look at the other with happy eyes.

But being present and safe and looking at each other with happy eyes is not always that simple. One of the reasons is the deeply human protective behaviors that are instinctively activated when we feel afraid, confused, and insecure. Since close relationships are vital to us, our protective behaviors are easily activated, causing us to hide from each other or attack. Our fears and shame pull us away from each other. When we become aware of this, we can begin to see how each of us can actively bring in security and joy, which instead brings us closer together.

You I want to love can be read by you who want to deepen your relationship with your partner, but also by you who want to develop as a parent, who want to reconcile with your parents, or who want to have a stronger relationship with your siblings.

The book can also contribute with thoughts on how you as a leader or manager can strengthen relationships in a company, a business or in an organization, and how you as a colleague or member can contribute to more joy and security in your workplace, in an association or congregation, or in another context.

Ulrika Ernvik is an authorized social worker and licensed psychotherapist with a focus on family therapy. She describes in a simple way the processes that take place within and between people and provides clear ideas and tools for creating security and joy in relationships.